Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
