It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!