My nipple is on Facebook.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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