she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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