ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
