girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
