Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize