Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am naked and annoyed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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