your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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