i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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