You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
