All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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