Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
