mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
