im having a threesome with these popsicles
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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