isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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