we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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