So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
