I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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