i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
