I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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