what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
