i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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