a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
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I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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