i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
