two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
