he puts the penis in happiness.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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