this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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