Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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