i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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