6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
