accomplished twins. life is a go
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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