2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize