So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
