Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
