It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
