You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
