how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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