Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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