anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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