so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
