Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't turn off my feet"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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