We won't sleep together?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
