office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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