I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
