If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
