I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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