What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
