i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
