I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
