Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
