I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
