His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
