Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
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You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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