the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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