I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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