So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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