May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
